Saturday, July 26, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Cold Shoulder
Today, the term “cold shoulder” has been redefined for me…
You know you’ve become a mom when you’re ok wearing a t-shirt that’s been used as a snot rag and you’re not squirming your way out of it as soon as possible!
My little girl has had a runny nose today and now the left shoulder of my t-shirt is all gross. It gets even more disgusting…I grabbed a t-shirt out of my closet to lounge in the other evening. I threw it on and walked passed the mirror in my bedroom and noticed I had received the “cold shoulder” the last time I wore that shirt too. My only conclusion as to why it was not already in the laundry is because I was too tired to remember I had been used as a tissue that day as well! The joys of being a mom. ( I can’t believe this makes me smile!)
But you know, the more I think about this whole “cold shoulder” thing, the more I realize that God allows us to give him the “cold shoulder” too. Yes, we all give God the original definition of the “cold shoulder”. But have you ever felt so close to Jesus that you’ve made the shoulder of his t-shirt all gross and snotty? I’ve had hard days that ended with moments with God that were so real I am sure I left his shoulder pretty messy. Times that draw us so near to God that we are able to give him the snotty cold shoulder are tough, but what better place to find yourself than in the arms of Christ. He just lets you cry really hard when you need to.
You know you’ve become a mom when you’re ok wearing a t-shirt that’s been used as a snot rag and you’re not squirming your way out of it as soon as possible!
My little girl has had a runny nose today and now the left shoulder of my t-shirt is all gross. It gets even more disgusting…I grabbed a t-shirt out of my closet to lounge in the other evening. I threw it on and walked passed the mirror in my bedroom and noticed I had received the “cold shoulder” the last time I wore that shirt too. My only conclusion as to why it was not already in the laundry is because I was too tired to remember I had been used as a tissue that day as well! The joys of being a mom. ( I can’t believe this makes me smile!)
But you know, the more I think about this whole “cold shoulder” thing, the more I realize that God allows us to give him the “cold shoulder” too. Yes, we all give God the original definition of the “cold shoulder”. But have you ever felt so close to Jesus that you’ve made the shoulder of his t-shirt all gross and snotty? I’ve had hard days that ended with moments with God that were so real I am sure I left his shoulder pretty messy. Times that draw us so near to God that we are able to give him the snotty cold shoulder are tough, but what better place to find yourself than in the arms of Christ. He just lets you cry really hard when you need to.
An old journal entry
April 28, 2008
I know that life sure has gotten complicated even in it’s simplicity of diapers, meals, laundry, and dishes. I am neither settled nor restless. I am neither content with where I am nor longing for something different. My only emotional constant is that there isn’t a constant. Each day is something new and different. I find that I am mostly very happy with my daily routines and are very scattered if a change is thrown into the mix. However, I had weeks or days like I’ve had in the last month or so when nothing feels right. I want so badly to be a good wife and mom, but it feels like so much is hindering my success. Then I kick myself as I realize that my success isn’t dependant on great meals, folded laundry or squeaky clean kids. My success rate isn’t even dependant on perfectly clear communication with my husband. My success rate is only reliant on my heart- which seems is the most difficult thing to keep in check. If my heart is right, then my motives are right. And if my motives are right, then no matter the outcome of the day, all will end ok. I can't give up. I can't allow myself that way out because it isn’t an option. I can just lean down and dig my heels in deeper than I had been and let God do the rest. I can work to be more patient. I can work to not express complaints. I can find places to relieve tensions and stress, finding new solutions to old problems.
I still remain amazed that God continues to use us knowing our failures and weaknesses.
I know that life sure has gotten complicated even in it’s simplicity of diapers, meals, laundry, and dishes. I am neither settled nor restless. I am neither content with where I am nor longing for something different. My only emotional constant is that there isn’t a constant. Each day is something new and different. I find that I am mostly very happy with my daily routines and are very scattered if a change is thrown into the mix. However, I had weeks or days like I’ve had in the last month or so when nothing feels right. I want so badly to be a good wife and mom, but it feels like so much is hindering my success. Then I kick myself as I realize that my success isn’t dependant on great meals, folded laundry or squeaky clean kids. My success rate isn’t even dependant on perfectly clear communication with my husband. My success rate is only reliant on my heart- which seems is the most difficult thing to keep in check. If my heart is right, then my motives are right. And if my motives are right, then no matter the outcome of the day, all will end ok. I can't give up. I can't allow myself that way out because it isn’t an option. I can just lean down and dig my heels in deeper than I had been and let God do the rest. I can work to be more patient. I can work to not express complaints. I can find places to relieve tensions and stress, finding new solutions to old problems.
I still remain amazed that God continues to use us knowing our failures and weaknesses.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
A new blog
Taking the first step on a new path is sometimes pretty scary, but here goes! I am jumping into this whole world of blogging a bit later than most, only because I'm forcing myself to. I have felt safe that my journals have been locked away in a password protected file. But now, finally, I am brave enough to write for the whole world to see. Here, perhaps, you will soon find random thoughts, goals, dreams, and prayers that have been rattling around in my head. Let's hope it's cool!
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