The 7th Year- Week 13: Put Your Thinkin' Cap On

She mentions that our “God-concepts inform beliefs, and beliefs influence attitudes, emotions, and behaviors. The latter- the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors- are followers, not leaders. They are responders, not initiators. As such, they are manifestations of something deeper, of our working, applied belief system.” (Chole, 7th Year, Week 13)

You know it’s deep-thinker week in the 7th Year project when you have to read the same sentence 3 or 4 times. Go ahead, re-read it again, too. Speed reading is useless. 

So, my deepest, gut-level concept of God will drive my beliefs of who God is. And my belief about who God really is will direct my thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

I better have my God-concept right. Better yet, I better allow God to define himself for me. Simply trusting that God is who he says he is should be enough. But we are fickle creatures...allowing our attitudes, emotions, behaviors to sway our God-concept....He is constant and faithful to remind us each day/moment/season who he truly is. 

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My family began to wonder why my phone made robot sounds at 8am, noon, 4pm and 8pm for 7 days. Even the girls began to wonder what was going on. Emma started imitating the robotic sounds. After a day or two, I let them in on the secret. Each time my alarm went off, I quickly documented a God-descriptor at that very moment. Every four hours, I captured what I thought about God....then and there. 

I saved the list on my phone and was surprised at how multi-faceted our God truly is. (Duh, Lindsay) In all actuality, we will never know how multi-faceted God is. This assignment shows me that my view of God has so much to do with what I am doing, thinking, feeling, facing at that moment. Yes, I trust God. Yes, I believe God is real and alive. But I can also see that God is all of these things: 

Redeemer

Creator of bugs

Patient

Constant

Awaken-er (this one must have been in the morning!)

Provider

Sustainer

Leader

Step-maker

A proud dad

Rest (Morning, again)

Nourisher (Lunchtime)

Speaker (office hours, prepping for a sermon)

Caller

Constant

Saturator (rainy day)

Planner

Banquet preparer (dinner time, ha.)

Educator (homeschool morning)

Mover 

Healer

Friend

Knower (a lonely moment)

Constant

Nearby

Muscle-giver (After a workout)

Husband, by the agricultural definition- one who gives care, manages (after a conversation with someone about why the field of caring for animals is called husbandry)

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Try it. Set an alarm to go off at intervals throughout your day and see what comes to mind when you think about God. Be creative. Be a word-smith....make them up if you  have to. 

I remain grateful for this 7th Year experience. If you want to learn more about it, go to www.the7thyear.com . 

The 7th Year- wks 8&9: Monastery or Mission Control

I met a new mom last week at the playground. She has great kids, is married and is seemingly normal. In this society, she’s a rare gem. I was excited to tell my husband about her later that evening. His response poked a hole in my party balloons. 

“Is she a Christian?”

“Yep.”

“That’s cool. But we need to make friends with people that don’t know Jesus yet.”

He and I have talked about this a number of times. We say that it’s a core value of ours. I have written about it and claim/aim/try to live out our ideas of not being a monastery mommy who raises bunker babies. 

Monastery mommies raise their kids in a petri dish or a greenhouse. The perfect environment, watering at the proper time, feeding and nourishing in ideal conditions. Not a weed or other bacteria in site. Safety.

Bunker babies have lived behind a concrete wall of protection, playing and interacting only with others previously approved to also live in the bunker. The only things that leave the bunker are attacks launched toward anyone not in the bunker. Safety. 

Our efforts in living in the monastery or bunker are exhausting and exclusive. Out of the world and nowhere near it. In the end, we end up being a people that have nothing in common with the world....so much so, that we can’t even hold a conversation with anyone outside our walls. We don't even make sense to each other. 

Sounds like Satan’s perfect plan. 

“If Satan cannon succeed in his Plan A of taking your soul to hell with him, Plan B is to ensure that you do not take anyone else’s soul to heaven with you.”- Chole, The 7th Year.

The Enemy loves our monasteries and bunkers just as much as we do. He’s pleased when we keep ourselves so busy gathering with others just like us that we have no more time to meet people who aren’t like us. We have willingly relinquished the weapon we have- relationships. He laughs when we make the rules and spend time enforcing them. 

“Steal them or sterilize them”, Chole says, “might be the kingdom of darkness’ brutally efficient mission statement.”

Yep, we are going to heaven. But we aren’t taking anyone else with us. Ouch. 

Don’t get me wrong. I am total support of having like-minded friends and a support network around your family. We need to brush up against other believers for encouragement, growth, sharpening. I want my kids influenced by great role models and I desperately desire mentors and Christian friends for my family. We need to be in a community of believers and worship together. Going rogue isn’t wise. 

But, there is a difference between making your home (or life) a monastery or making it mission control. 

Mission control preps and de-briefs before and after intentional interactions. 

Mission control sends out. 

Mission control trains. 

Mission control monitors and sends support when extra help is needed. 

Mission control is visited often for resupply, rest, re-evaluation and recalibration of the original mission. 

Mission control is pro-active. 

Are we living to make it through unscathed? 

Are we living to multiple ourselves?

Are we avoiding the thorns because we are afraid of a few scratches and hard work, therefore letting them grow effortlessly?

Are we fighting them back with everything we’ve got so we can see the real life-giver do his thing?

I am glad I made a new friend last week. It’s nice to have people in our lives that we can relax with. But I am also glad my husband frequently reminds me that we are be strategic in who we spend time with. He is a result of a trained agent leaving mission control for a purpose. 

Satan won’t steal us or sterilize us. 

I know it sounds scary. It's terrifying, actually. But that's ok. Mission control has prepped us.

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This is my reflection of the readings from weeks 8 and 9 in The 7th Year, an intentional e-journey of discipleship. You can find out more about it at www.the7thyear.com 

Have a great friday! 

The 7th Year- Week 7: God math

"As I consider years past, I see your hand clearly in some spaces.
In other spaces, I acknowledge the presence of your hand by faith, not by sight."- Chole


We began a new section in the 7th Year e-journey. Moving from our own personal life scrolls (seeing God in the past) to a task in preparing to see the current and upcoming movements between God and myself. Prior to starting the task, Chole asked us to spend a few moments in prayer. The quote at the top of this post was part of her guided prayer. This line....."I acknowledge the presence of your hand by faith, not by sight".... stuck with me. 


How many times have we heard (or spoken) stories of knowing God was near because we saw signs and wonders happen? Those times are valid and wonderful, but what happens when we don't see or feel God moving nearby? It might be easy to think that God left us or backed away somehow. But deep faith is evident when we know God is near without the evidences seen by the eye. 


Looking back through my own life scroll, I can see times that I trusted, by faith, that God was near because I couldn't see with me eyes (or brain or skin or heart) that he was around. I depended upon the past history of him being with me and logically connected God's past history with his current activity. 


He was there when I ________ + he was also there when ________ + I trust his word = He was and is there when I can't feel him. 

7th Year- Week 6: Hemmed In

You hem me in- before and behind. 

You know me. 

You laid your hand upon me. 

You are there. 

Your eyes saw me. 

You are familiar with my ways. 

You know what I do. 

You are aware. 

(Phrases from Psalm 139)

This week for the 7th year, I added the last layer to my life scroll. I added my questions, revelations, commentaries and overall summary of all the previous 6 layers. I found common themes running throughout my scroll; both in God’s movements and my responses to His movements and other circumstances. I ask(ed) the same questions, or variations of the same questions repeatedly. Yet, through it all, God remained the same. 

He is my:

(ever) present

sustainer

energy

hand-holder

provider

protection

filler

pursuer (as in caller, wooer, chaser)

These God-descriptors all were all woven numerous times throughout my scroll, reoccurring frequently. I know some of the descriptions don’t make sense to others and that’s ok. They don’t have to. At times, this doesn’t entirely make sense to me. But, I know they are true. 

A good hem is turned into itself twice and stitched in a way that is invisible from the outside of the garment. A hem encompasses the fringe of the fabric and ensures future unraveling. A hem surrounds, borders, edges, encircles, encloses, encompasses, corrals. 

Sounds a lot like my cinched-in feeling I wrote about earlier in this process. You can read about that here. 

Jesus hemmed in my fringe- whether caused by myself or other people- and protected against further unraveling. Jesus hemmed me into himself- before me and behind me- so that his presence was always there. At times, the hem felt invisible- as if one was looking at it from the outside- but it (he) remained present. 

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I remain thankful for this 7th Year journey and invite you all to begin participating at any time. You can find details on how to participate through visiting the site, www.the7thyear.com 

The 7th Year- Week 5: Space

This week’s layer makes my life scroll stand 6 layers high. I found security while working through this layer as it asked me to describe God during different times in my life. It was comfortable, but my mental list of adjectives is suffering. I wish my word-smith skills were stronger. 

In addition to my life scroll layer, I have been thinking more about space. Just this morning Gil read our Lent devotion to me- Psalm 31. 

I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; 

You have made know the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hands of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place. (vs. 7 & 8)

One of the phrases jumped out to both of us...you have set my feet in a broad place. We clicked on “broad place” and learned that it is synonymous with spacious place, wilderness, and openness. It’s found a handful of times, a few of the places being scriptures I have already written down; 

I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter the wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you... Live openly and expansively. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 (MSG)

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. Psalm 18:19

He brought me out into a spacious place. 2 Samuel 22:20

Here is my brainstorm list:

A spacious place is peaceful. 

A spacious place is free. 

A spacious place is wide. 

A spacious place is living. 

A spacious place is life-sustaining. 

A spacious place is filtering. 

A spacious place is welcoming. 

A spacious place is calming. 

A spacious place is roomy. 

A spacious place is healing. 

A spacious place is teeming with life. 

A spacious place is beckoning.

A spacious place is stable.

When you think of a spacious place, what do you think of? 

But this seems to be a linear, a flat-lined, horizontal view of space. 

What if spaciousness is thought of in a 3-D view, a broad and X-Y-Z axis type of picture?

It would be impossible to list all the ways God is spacious in a 3-D view, a broad and X-Y-Z axis type formation, but here are a few I can think of; 

• God is spacious in his grace and love for us- it is large and unending. 
• God is spacious in his movement with us- he allows us to move at our pace while inviting us to move at his pace. 
• God is spacious in his healing- he lavishly provides the space in time and growth for true healing. 
• God is spacious in his presence- he offers contentment and peace amidst our cluttered world. 

What are some other ways God is spacious in his personhood?

So, if space is so wildly wonderful, why do we- and why did the Old Testament believers- not abandon everything to find it? 

To enjoy space, you have to look up, glance around and soak up the surroundings. You have to look up from the plow, so to speak. You have to stop what you’re doing and take it in. I forget to stop, raise my head and appreciate the space. I get too busy trying to do it myself- checking off the to-do list, finding my satisfaction in accomplishments. 

The 7th Year- Week 4: Clenched fists, open hands

My life scroll, from The 7th Year.

She spoke of clenched fists and open hands this week. Clench fists provide a delusion of ownership, while open hands require trust and stewardship. 

I can see parallels between this truth statement and my life scroll I’ve been creating along with The 7th Year project, but I struggle to verbalize them. 

I’m adding a picture of my life scroll with the hopes that it’s blurred enough that it can’t be read by the entire world wide web. I decided to use paper I had at home rather than Alicia’s suggestion of tracing paper, and since I homeschool, I had HUGE paper with seven lines already drawn! (I hope it turns out ok in the end....we still have a few weeks of layers to add.) 

This week, we were asked to add another layer to our life scroll....a layer of thinking about what I thought about myself throughout my life’s ages and stages. What a task this turned out to be! I had to step away from the project for a day to gain perspective on  my adjectives and observations. 

Looking through this list of descriptors causes enough different feelings to fill a box of crayolas. Times of triumph, hard work are followed by deep pain; an ebb and flow of internal reactions to external actions. Interestingly enough, it seems that as I have grown up, the peaks and valleys have become less extreme. The joys are awesome, but my response is less elevated and the hurtful moments are still present, but my perspective of myself is less low. 

As I work on my life scroll and all the layers Alicia adds, I am thankful for her reminder that God is and has always been present. During the second week, I even wrote “I knew God knew” as part of my spiritual movement. I know this probably doesn’t make sense to those not participating in The 7th Year, but I wanted to document it. 

So, what is my ultimate reaction to this week’s addition to the life scroll? I am sad that one, two or a few individuals (depending on the time in my life) can have such a strong impact of how I perceive what’s happening around me. People can hurt others. People have hurt me. But God knew and he was there despite their hurt and he hurt too. BUT, I am thankful that people can also help heal. Other people have been a part of my growth and healing. And God knew that too. 

The 7th Year- Week 3

Safe Space

This week Alicia asked us to add another layer to a map we have been creating over the past weeks. The detail and personal moments aren’t something I’d like to share with the current and future world via the internet, so I will keep those to myself. However, I was struck by another part of the reading this week. 

Alicia mentions three points about the biblical 7th year; rest the land and hear the law, release slaves and cancel debts, and make no profit and give generously. Can you imagine being commanded to do these things? This type of leadership model doesn’t sound like it would work in our economy. But that’s exactly it. This isn’t a command given to work within “the system”. God’s ways aren’t bound by our ways. 

I can not begin to imagine what it would feel like to take a year to simply listen to the Word of God being spoken over me. 

What about my school loans? I seriously would not know what I would do if I got a letter from my lenders stating that my college loans had been cancelled. Yes! Bring it on Deuteronomy! 

And since my loans would be paid off and we would no longer have a mortgage, living profitless and giving generously...well, that would just be fun! 

Imagine what it would be like. Imagine the freedom. Imagine the weightlessness. Imagine the possibilities of movement, change, growth. Imagine looking up and enjoying the view rather than keeping eyes down to the plow. Imagine taking it all in. 

Imagine the space in your mind- the uncluttered thinking. 

Imagine the space in your time- the freedom to rest and enjoy. 

Imagine the space in your heart- the healing that’d take place. 

Alicia writes that space is telling. 

About a year ago, I began thinking a great deal about space. 

My understanding is that space equals freedom. Freedom to move about, explore, grow. Freedom to challenge yourself in all areas. Freedom to wiggle, experiment, stretch

But I also understand that space requires trust. Trust that someone else has all danger at bay. Trust that appropriate and safe boundary lines have been established and marked clearly. Trust that responsibilities will be tended. 

I think about this idea of space quite a bit. 

I think about fish needing a bigger tank to grow. 

I think about risking it all to tackle something bigger, harder, different, unfamiliar. 

I think about my husband wanting to ice climb (is that what it’s called?), cycle for more miles than I care to think about it, summit tough mountains, and race harder/faster than he’s ever done before. He wants to challenge himself and push past his current experiences. He wants to explore. 

And I dream of a place where I can drop the worries of my world at the road and enjoy safe space, true freedom, deep rest, utmost protection. 

The 7th Year- Week 2: Tightropes

Tightropes

This is the second week of my 7th Year Journey. (You can read about the first week here and more about the ministry here.) Alicia continued discussing our life map. Last week, we were asked to pick 3 or 4 backdrops of our life- as if our life was a play or movie. I picked 4 different places that I felt were the big ones...and wanted to add Connecticut as a fifth. 

This week, we were asked to think deeper about those scenes or backdrops. Here’s what I asked myself: What has made these places stick out to me? What is similar between those places and what changed- other than the obvious location? 

After some thought, I feel that my scenes stick out to me because life-changing moments happened there...both good and bad things. Sometimes the life changing moments were mere moments and other scenes were many moments made into one major moment. The scenes varied by location, people present, age, and stage of life. Some backdrops included both happy and hard moments. The only things that remain the same across all of my backdrops was my presence (duh!), Jesus was there, and a figurative tightrope. 

During each scene in my “life play”, I walked a tightrope of faith. Sometimes the tight ropes were easier to walk than others. Sometimes I needed to depend on the presence of Jesus more than others. But every scene required me to take the first, timid step onto the tightrope. I had to decide whether I would trust that Jesus would take care of my every detail. I had to choose to believe that he knew what he was asking me to do and was aware of my every move. When I think about these tightrope moments, I feel cinched in, pressure, swaddling, hugged, controlled but intentional breaths. 

I’ll be a little transparent and give a specific example. One of the scenes on my list was the house I just moved from in VA. So many wonderful things happened in that house. I loved it for a long list of reasons. Many tight rope moments happened there, but one moment that jumps out in my mind occurred just a week or two before we moved to CT. Gil and I packed up our daughters room to make a “landing space” for everything to come down out of the attic and get sorted for packing, trashing or donating. That was the easy part. The hard part was fighting through such deeply rooted security. The problem was that I found security in someTHING. You see, since my daughters were born, all most all of their clothes, toys, essentials were given to us. God used arm loads of people to bless us and provide for our needs. I can tell you who gave us almost every item. I thought about those individuals when my girls wore the clothes, played with the toys and were swaddled in the blankets. These baby and toddler items were proof to me that God existed and that he KNEW I was here and needed him. These things were my little altars- reminders that God cared about me.

When it all came out of the attic and I had to make fast decisions of whether something was going to take up room in our moving truck, whether the attic heat (or my kids) had ruined it or if it was to be donated to someone else. Rubbermaid tubs full of little pieces of evidence that my God loved me and my family piled high around me....almost to the ceiling.....and I had to pick through it. The task was huge and felt overwhelming, but that wasn’t the cause of my panic. I had almost packed up our entire house....what’s one more room? No big deal. The fear was a result of my trust in God. Here is what was running through my mind: 

God promised he would provide. 

And He did. 

He provided, through his people giving, sharing, passing along these items. 

Both of my girls wore/played with/used these items. 

This dress was worn for E’s pictures when she was 18 months old. 

M** gave it to me.

M** loves my girls, I am so glad she is in our life. 

Do I get rid of this stuff? 

Is it frugal or wise stewardship to get rid of it? 

What if we decide to have another child- do I risk it being a boy and not wearing all this stuff? 

Do I risk it and take up room on the moving truck just in case? 

Would I donate it to someone who would love it as much as I have loved it? Who would that person be?

Are we really going to have another child? 

Do I trust God enough to provide again? 

Is it asking too much from God to clothe another child? 

Do I trust God enough? 

Do I trust God? 

Image courtesy of: tightrope.png

See my tightrope? My thoughts got narrower and narrower as I found the source of my panic and fear. Do I trust God? Do I trust God enough to provide for me again? Do I trust God enough to keep reminding me of his goodness? Do I seriously need things in my life to remind me of his blessings- this item (or stacks of boxes of items) specifically? 

(PS-I am totally all about keeping things in life as reminders of what God has done- this wasn’t exactly that....nor does anyone need this large amount of stuff to remind them of what God has done.) 

I knew I had crossed the tight rope when I drove away from the Crisis Pregnancy Storage Area. I donated an entire minivan FULL of beautiful baby things. I allowed myself to keep one tub of sentimental items- or things I want to give my girls one day- and donated the rest. I forced myself across that tightrope and into the trusting, providing, safe arms of Jesus. I threw the ball back into his court. If Gil and I felt led to have more kids after our move, God would come to our rescue once again and be our provider...in one way or another...and I just decided to trust in that. 

Matthew 6:19-20: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;”

Deuteronomy 8:3 "He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD."

When I drove away from the Crisis Pregnancy Storage Area that day, I felt cinched in, swaddled, protected, tight....yet free, light and untangled. 

Cinched in and free at the same time?

Swaddled and untangled at the same time? 

Tight and weightless at the same time? 

While standing on the tightrope, my security just shifted from my surplus/storage/stockpile....to Jesus. Only Jesus. 

The 7th Year- week 1

Two days ago I began a journey- a 52 week journey of spiritual formation. I am walking this journey with a new friend and together we will discuss a variety of topics- everything   from mapping our life’s journey to our personal theologies of time and our honest relationship with the Bible. 

I will be sharing my thoughts about this journey, called The 7th Year, with you as I go. I hope you’ll cheer me on during the weeks it get’s tough...and maybe begin the journey yourself. 

The 7th Year, written and hosted by Alicia Britt Chole, is an e-journey. Each week I get an email with a some thought provoking material and a guided discussion/activity. My friend and I will discuss our thoughts on the weekly email- in person and electronically...whichever suits our week the best. 

I was intrigued by the title- The 7th Year. Chole writes that 

“When we study the biblical passages about the 7th, Sabbath, year, this command contains several challenging components:

• Rest the land and hear the Law
• Release slaves and cancel debts

• Make no profit and give generously.

In an agricultural community, such a year would drastically change the fabric of a community. Space would be startling (and space is very telling).

The 7th Year is a focused space, neither extra nor empty, but devoted and healing.

There is something in the name, The 7th Year, that marries hope—a life-giving yet invisible substance—with a participation that is tangible. There is something about the name that fuses a fragrant, timeless mystery with a compelling, timely invitation.”

Doesn’t that just make you want to sit still and join me? If this strikes you as AWESOME, you can download a free sample of her email....you can read what I got to read this last week. You can do the activity- mapping your life- that I was able to do. Visit her website www.the7thyear.com and see for yourself! 

Heartache and hope- things the 7th year allows. 

All this talk about 7 years and life mapping causes me to ask what have I been doing the last 7 years of my life. Thinking back to February 2005.... Gil and I were in our second year of marriage. We were in the first year as directors of Chi Alpha Campus Ministry at Longwood University. We didn't have kids yet. We lived on Franklin Street in a super cute little house. And the previous month I asked Annette to mentor me- certainly a life-changing moment. (You can read her own wise words here and here.) The last 7 years have brought about such change in my life. I have fought battles that ended in victory and defeat, I have made choices that brought life-long lessons, I have found friends that will remain close despite miles, and hopefully, I have gained some wisdom from all of it. This season of itinerating for Chi Alpha @ Uconn and transition from VA to CT has caused my to ask questions that have never crossed my mind, confront unspoken and internal values I gathered somewhere in life, and walk a faith tightrope like never before. 

I am up for a year of Sabbath. In a somewhat literal sense and entirely figurative sense, I am ready to step back and think through this life of mine. 

Has the soil where life has taken place been stripped of it's nutrients? Would a time of rest/sabbath/fallow replenish the components necessary for healthy life?